America Needs a Divorce, Here is How To Divide It All Up
I found this on social media the other day and I thought it was a great piece. Allegedly written by John J. Wall who is a student of law and an American. I can’t confirm whether he is the true author of this, but it really doesn’t matter. I just wanted to give him credit if he really does exist. So remember as you read through this, that it was supposedly written by a (college) student, who is also a self proclaimed American. Check this out :
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is our separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
– We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
– You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
– Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
– We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
– You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.
– We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
– You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.
– We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.
– We’ll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
– You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
– You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.
– When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
– We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
– You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
– We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
– You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.
– We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
– I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine,” “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” “Kum Baya,” or “We Are the World.”
– We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
– Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name, and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.
P.P.S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I LOVE the idea! … Thoughts? Drop your comments below.
I love this it makes perfect sense and would be a great solution 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸💪💪💪🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️
I wrote something similar over a year ago: The American Redistribution Act of 2021 Whereas: We as conservatives CAN’T have Bernie Sanders or a similarly minded person as our president and the liberals CAN’T have Donald Trump or another such conservatively minded person as their president, have come to a standoff in our society that requires drastic action in which involves the separation of ideologies in order to prevent civil war amongst the citizenry and others within the borders of the United States of America. (A national divorce, so to speak) Proposed is as follows: A national voucher system for… Read more »
That is too much land mass to offer those who have rejected the US Constitution. They only occupy LARGE cities in our nation so we give them a more proportional amount of land. As someone who lived in California for 3 years, I’m sad to see that beautiful state go, but they have culturally destroyed it. Its theirs to keep, from San Francisco south to LA. We keep San Diego & north of SF. They get the Portland & Seattle area as well. THAT’S IT. THAT’S ALL. They can govern as they see fit and we will follow our nations… Read more »
This is brilliant, I want to live in this Part of America
This will be the ultimate end of our Country as we know it, either through a legal separation/divorce or WAR. The pain on both sides will be great. Each will lose friends and family but we will become better for it!!
I’d vote for this…but I don’t think they’ll give us the chance. After all, we’re the only ones working!
Sounds fair to me!
The most uneducated thing ever written.. you all are not AMERICANS,,, Americans don’t think like a third world country, only Traitors and Commies. Which you all sound like. Ignorant white supremacists is the label that fits perfect here… I’m sure you forgot to put”” ” all the black people and immigrants to that side as well.””.. Cause it’s the truth.thats how you all think and that’s how you and the AntiFacters movement are perceived and the way you all portray yourselves… . it’s immediately to Violence in every situation!! And then blame it on someone else. The person to blame… Read more »
Lmao you spew stupid meaningless shit. Show me one fact you made. You are talking about 10 said republicans that turned their back on him out of how many? They only did it because the ideocracy you guys spew… look at the facts. You can easily search all of President Trumps accomplishments. It is out there on the white house site. I will warn you it is a long list. He did all of it in 4 years. The ones before him like BARAK and Biden had 8 years and could not come close. Keep spewing disease from your mouth..… Read more »
I wouldn’t even bother with an ignorant Troll like this, they won’t listen and can not understand they are the ones parroting lies that Liberal media puts out, if anybody even reacts to this libtard it just gives them more fuel! Be satisfied that we know the truth and soon people will begin to see it and they will change sides all on their own, hopefully!
So….why do you have a problem with the idea? You don’t like us and we don’t like you. Either you want to keep living off our money, or you are a special kind of dumb.
I thought this was great, I wish it was possible to do so. The division is so great. The immigration that biden is doing scares me because he is insuring political command by democratic party
He or she speaks for many of us. Well put.
I think those Idiots on the left still imagine money growing on trees, so We’ll take the Gold and they can have Money Tree!
I LOVE IT!!! but the second we do chinese military bases will start popping up EVERYWHERE in California
Well written young man thats the best idea I’ve heard in an long time. If we Americans can’t get on board with this we deserve what we get. Now I ask anyone do you have a better idea? cause I dont. Take this contract to DC.
Are you serious??? What is good about it??? Again bla-bla! We already divorced. No need in new declarations. We need to act. For example, people are moving to Conservative States.
THEY ACT! Another way to create a new Confederation of Conservative States.
Stop smearing snot! Leave all these emotional breakdowns to Hollywood actors. Start looking for a new party.
I joined this group seeing this & thought it was serious. I’m all in. When do we start?
Absolutely. I’m in !!!
Absolutely best suggestion I’ve ever heard
Yes! This is what we need!